In addition to reading this section of the Guide and taking the quizzes at its conclusion, we urge you to visit William Strunk's Elements of Style, which has had a salutary effect on several generations of writers who have bought "the little book," and which is now, thanks to the Bartleby Project, online. (This online text is not exactly the same as the familiar text you'll find in bookstores, which was edited by E.B. White, but much of the really good stuff is the same.) We also recommend "The Perfectibility of Words," by Robert Hartwell Fiske, editor of the online journal Vocabula Review.
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Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell. |
Whether it's a two-word quip or a 200-word bear, a sentence must be a lean, thinking machine. Here are some notes toward efficiency and conciseness in writing.
Avoid saying the same thing twice.
A phrase that repeats itself—like "true fact," "twelve noon," "I saw it with my own eyes"—is sometimes called a pleonasm.
Redundant phrases are bad habits just waiting to take control of your writing. Beware of the following.
| Redundancy | The Lean Version |
| 12 midnight | midnight |
| 12 noon | noon |
| 3 am in the morning | 3 am |
| absolutely spectacular/phenomenal | spectacular/phenomenal |
| a person who is honest | an honest person |
| a total of 14 birds | 14 birds |
| biography of her life | biography |
| circle around | circle |
| close proximity | proximity |
| completely unanimous | unanimous |
| consensus of opinion | consensus |
| cooperate together | cooperate |
| each and every | each |
| enclosed herewith | enclosed |
| end result | result |
| exactly the same | the same |
| final completion | completion |
| frank and honest exchange | frank exchange or honest exchange |
| free gift | gift |
| he/she is a person who . . . | he/she |
| important/basic essentials | essentials |
| in spite of the fact that | although |
| in the field of economics/law enforcement | in economics/law enforcement |
| in the event that | if |
| job functions | job or functions |
| new innovations | innovations |
| one and the same | the same |
| particular interest | interest |
| period of four days | four days |
| personally, I think/feel | I think/feel |
| personal opinion | opinion |
| puzzling in nature | puzzling |
| refer back | refer |
| repeat again | repeat |
| return again | return |
| revert back | revert |
| shorter/longer in length | shorter/longer |
| small/large in size | small/large |
| square/round/rectangular in shape | square/round/rectangular |
| summarize briefly | summarize |
| surrounded on all sides | surrounded |
| surrounding circumstances | circumstances |
| the future to come | the future |
| there is no doubt but that | no doubt |
| usual/habitual custom | custom |
| we are in receipt of | we have received |
Abbreviated Redundancies
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Be alert for clauses or phrases that can be pared to simpler, shorter constructions. The "which clause" can often be shortened to a simple adjective. (Be careful, however, not to lose some needed emphasis by over-pruning; the word "which," which is sometimes necessary [as it is in this sentence], is not evil.)
Phrases, too, can sometimes be trimmed, sometimes to a single word.
Avoid using words such as really, very, quite, extremely, severely when they are not necessary. It is probably enough to say that the salary increase is inadequate. Does saying that it is severely inadequate introduce anything more than a tone of hysteria? These words shouldn't be banished from your vocabulary, but they will be used to best effect when used sparingly.
This sounds like something a politician has to learn to avoid, but, no, an expletive construction is a common device that often robs a sentence of energy before it gets a chance to do its work. Expletive constructions begin with there is/are or it is.
Further information about expletive constructions is available on our page on The Verb "To Be".
Be on the lookout for important sounding phrases that add nothing to the meaning of a sentence. Such phrases quickly put a reader on guard that the writer is trading in puffery; worse, they put a reader to sleep.
Many but not all of these unnecessary phrases have been taken from Quick Access: Reference for Writers by Lynn Quitman Troyka. Simon & Schuster: New York. 1995. The examples, however, are our own. No political inferences should be drawn from these examples; they are merely models of form.
| all things considered | All things considered, Connecticut's woodlands are in better shape now than ever before. |
| as a matter of fact | As a matter of fact, there are more woodlands in Connecticut now than there were in 1898. |
| as far as I'm concerned | As far as I'm concerned, there is no need for further protection of woodlands. |
| at the present time | This is because there are fewer farmers at the present time. This is because there are fewer farmers now. |
| because of the fact that | Woodlands have grown in area because of the fact that farmers have abandoned their fields. Woodlands have grown in area because farmers have abandoned their fields. |
| by means of | Major forest areas are coming back by means of natural processes. Major forest areas are coming back through natural processes. (or naturally) |
| by virtue of the fact that | Our woodlands are coming back by virtue of the fact that our economy has shifted its emphasis. Our woodlands are coming back |
| due to the fact that | Due to the fact that their habitats are being restored, forest creatures are also re-establishing their population bases. |
| exists | The fear that exists among many people that we are losing our woodlands is uncalled for. The fear |
| for all intents and purposes | The era in which we must aggressively defend our woodlands has, for all intents and purposes, passed. The era in which we must aggressively defend our woodlands has |
| for the most part | For the most part, people's suspicions are based on a misunderstanding of the facts. |
| for the purpose of | Many woodlands, in fact, have been purchased for the purpose of creating public parks. Many woodlands, in fact, have been purchased |
| have a tendency to | This policy has a tendency to isolate some communities. This policy |
| in a manner of speaking | The policy has, in a manner of speaking, begun to Balkanize the more rural parts of our state. The policy has |
| in a very real sense | In a very real sense, this policy works to the detriment of those it is supposed to help. |
| in my opinion | In my opinion, this wasteful policy ought to be revoked. |
| in the case of | In the case of this particular policy, citizens of northeast Connecticut became very upset. Citizens of northeast Connecticut became very upset about his policy. |
| in the final analysis | In the final analysis, the state would have been better off without such a policy. |
| in the event that | In the event that enough people protest, it will probably be revoked. If enough people protest, it will probably be revoked. |
| in the nature of | Something in the nature of a repeal may soon take place. Something |
| in the process of | Legislators are already in the process of reviewing the statutes. Legislators are already |
| it seems that | It seems that they can't wait to get rid of this one. |
| manner | They have monitored the activities of conservationists in a cautious manner. They have cautiously monitored the activities of conservationists. |
| the point I am trying to make | The point I am trying to make is that sometimes public policy doesn't accomplish what it set out to achieve. |
| type of | Legislators need to be more careful of the type of policy they propose. Legislators need to be more careful of the |
| what I mean to say is | What I mean to say is that well intentioned lawmakers sometimes make fools of themselves. |
In his eminently readable Web site, "BANNED FOR LIFE," Tom Mangan has collected the "favorite" clichés of editors and journalism instructors from around the world. If you read too much of this at once, you'll stop talking. |
A cliché is an expression that was probably, once upon a time, an original and brilliant way of saying something. Imagine being the first person to say something as clever as "She fell head over heels in love" or "She's cool as a cucumber." Sadly, though, such expressions eventually lose their luster and become trite and even annoying. Writers who indulge in tired language are not being respectful to their readers, and writers return the compliment by losing attention and going on to something else.
It is particularly galling when a writer or speaker relies on tired language to the point of creating a hodge-podge of mixed clichés and assorted vegetables. A mayor of Austin, Texas, once announced, to everyone's bewilderment, "I wanted all my ducks in a row, so if we did get into a posture, we could pretty much slam-dunk this thing and put it to bed."
Here is a list of trite expressions to look for in your writing and speaking. Create your own list of clichés by listening for them on radio talk-shows and casual conversation. Watch television ads and the headlines of sports columnists to find clichés that writers are playing with, adapting the meaning of a hackneyed expression until it turns into something clever (or, sometimes, not so clever). Click HERE for a handful of examples taken from the sports pages of The Hartford Courant.
We also recommend Brian Murphy's Big List of Clichés, for a truly exhausting (but fun) list of things to avoid saying.
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acid test at loose ends babe in the woods better late than never brought back to reality black as pitch blind as a bat bolt from the blue busy as a bee/beaver cat's meow cool as a cucumber cool, calm, and collected crack of dawn crushing blow cry over spilt milk dead as a doornail dog-eat-dog world don't count your chickens dyed in the wool easier said than done easy as pie feathered friends face the music flash in the pan flat as a pancake gentle as a lamb go at it tooth and nail good time was had by all greased lightning happy as a lark head over heels heavy as lead horns of a dilemma hour of need keep a stiff upper lip ladder of success last but not least looking a gift horse  in the mouth
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meaningful dialogue moving experience needle in a haystack open-and-shut case pain in the _____ point with pride pretty as a picture put it in a nutshell quick as a flash/wink rat race ripe old age ruled the roost sad but true sadder but wiser set the world on fire sick as a dog sigh of relief slow as molasses smart as a whip sneaking suspicion spread like wildfire straight as an arrow straw that broke the camel's backstrong as an ox take the bull by the horns thin as a rail through thick and thin tired but happy to coin a phrase to make a long story short trial and error tried and true under the weather white as a sheet wise as an owl work like a dog worth its weight in gold |
A euphemism is a word or phrase that substitutes for language the speaker or writer feels is too blunt or somehow offensive. When people die, we say, instead, that they have "passed away" or "met their maker" or "gone to sleep." And, at the silly extreme, a garbage collector is a sanitation engineer, a janitor is a custodial engineer. What the writer must guard against is the tendency of euphemisms not only to shield readers from harsh reality but also to obfuscate meaning and truth. The military is especially guilty of this: bombing raids become surgical air-strikes and armies become peace-keeping forces. Good writing tells the truth and tells it plain.
Gary B. Larson ("Garbl") maintains three helpful Web pages on concise writing:
A special breed of redundancy is proliferating in our modern world as we increasingly rely on abbreviations and acronyms in the busyness of our technology. Some people insist it is redundant to say "ATM machine" because ATM means Automated Teller Machine. They add that it is redundant to say "HIV virus" because HIV means Human Immunodeficiency Virus, "AIDS syndrome" because AIDS means Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome, "CPU unit" because CPU means Central Processing Unit. It sounds particularly silly when we come up with a plural such as "CPU units" — Central Processing Unit units. It is perhaps too easy to get caught up in this, however. "CD disk" can be redundant, but nowadays the abbreviation CD can refer to a number of things, including the machine itself. Occasionally, an abbreviation — like CD, ATM — becomes more of an idea unto itself than a shortened version for a set of words, and the abbreviation ought to be allowed to act as modifier.