|Writing Concise Sentences
Directions: Rewrite the following sentences in the text-areas provided. When you are finished with each sentence (or, if you wish, wait until you've done them all), click on Grammar's Version, which will reveal how we might have rewritten the sentence to achieve a more concise statement. If you try to cheat by looking at Grammar's version first, your computer will blow up and your name will be published in a list of ne'er-do-wells on the front page of the New York Times. There is, however, no single right answer to these rewrites, and if you come up with a clearly improved version, please write us email (using the ASK GRAMMAR form on the main page of this Guide).
1. At this point in time we can't ascertain the reason as to why the screen door was left open.
2. My sister, who is employed as a nutritionist at the University of Michigan, recommends the daily intake of megadoses of Vitamin C.
3. Basically, in light of the fact that Congressman Fuenches was totally exhausted by his last campaign, there was an expectation on the part of the voters that he would not reduplicate his effort to achieve office in government again.
4. It is to be hoped that we discover a means to create an absolutely proper and fitting tribute to Professor Espinoza.
5. There is a desire on the part of many of us to maintain a spring recess for the purpose of getting away from the demands of our studies.
6. Joe was an honest and hard working man. Basically, he never gave much consideration to sitting idly about, doing nothing constructive. (Rewrite as one sentence.)
7. What is your basic understanding of predestination?
8. At what point in time will a downturn in the stock market have a really serious effect on the social life of people as a whole?
9. I would call your attention to the fact that our President, who was formerly the Governor of Arkansas, is basically a Southerner.
10. There are millions of fans who desperately want the Hartford Whalers to stay in the city.
11. Bothered by allergies, a condition that made them sneeze, some of the preschool children had sinus troubles that caused them to miss several days in nursery school this spring.
Sentence #12 is taken from The Little, Brown Handbook by H. Ramsay Fowler, Jane E. Aaron, & Kay Limburg. 5th ed. HarperCollins: New York. 1992.
12. The nursery school teacher education training sessions involve active interfacing with preschool children of the appropriate age as well as intensive peer interaction in the form of role playing
Guide to Grammar and Writing